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Saturday, April 25, 2015

May 2015 Movies On Our Radar

A staggering amount of great films arrive in our May Movie Preview.

Story by Matt Cummings & Brandon Wolfe

May is the month when the box office awakens from its 4-month sleep, rubs its eyes and stretches its wings to give us a taste of the rest of the year. And while the year has given us some terrific surprises (Kingsman: The Secret Service and Paddington) and some poignant moments, (Furious 7), 2015 has honestly been a dud, filled with many high-profile duds (Chappie, Jupiter Ascending, Seventh Son, 50 Shades of Grey). But now it's onto May and the beginning of the summer season, a time when Hollywood begins to lay down its big cards hoping for long lines and plenty of popcorn sales. In the past three years, we've seen Iron Man 3, X-Men: Days of Future Past, Godzilla, and a little 2012 film called The Avengers. This year is no different, as May brings us a staggering amount of quality releases that are worth mentioning. Several appeared in our MOST ANTICIPATED LIST FOR 2015 and it's great to finally see them arrive.

The schedule includes a cop comedy, angry Australian outback drivers and the return of Earth's Mightiest Heroes.

May 1: The Avengers: Age of Ultron
Director: Joss Whedon
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Chris Hemsworth, Jeremy Renner, Mark Ruffalo
Plot: Tony Stark creates an A.I. program designed to keep the peace. But when it turns on humanity, the Avengers reassemble to stop it.
Why We're Interested: Duh. It's The Avengers...should we have to say a single word after that? OK, if you're still not convinced, then consider the following: it promises to do nothing short of pave the way for Phase 3 and the coming hero throwdown Civil War, which is quickly becoming Avengers 2.5. Simply put, it's THE event of the summer, one you can't (and probably won't) miss, and it feels like a good ending for Whedon, who is stepping down from all things Marvel after its premiere.
Watch the trailer for Avengers: Age of Ultron:

May 8: Hot Pursuit
Director: Anne Fletcher
Starring: Reese Witherspoon, Sofia Vergara
Plot: An uptight cop tries to protect the widow of a drug lord as they are pursued by gunmen throughout Texas.
Why We're Interested: Let's be realistic: anything that seeks to open anywhere near Age of Ultron is simply asking for a poor showing, but it has to be someone and it looks like Hot Pursuit drew the short stick. And while the trailer and the cast look good, the bigger question on our minds is whether it has any chance against killer robots and superheroes. That's highly unlikely, unless Ultron fails to deliver with audiences. That doesn't seem likely, but it also doesn't mean you shouldn't take a chance on Hot Pursuit: it's the first legitimate comedy to arrive in 2015, and it might end up winning audiences over.
Watch the trailer for Hot Pursuit:

May 15: Mad Max: Fury Road
Director: George Miller
Starring: Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron
Plot: Drifter Max navigates the post-apocalyptic wasteland as he finds himself caught up with a woman fleeing a tyrannical oppressor.
Why We're Interested: Among the greatest - yet least respected by Hollywood - franchises of all time, Mad Max represents a return to THE post-apocalyptic, violent future that frankly no one else is bold enough to imagine. None of them did it quite like Max, with its almost-orgasmic scenes of vehicular destruction wrapped around characters that make Dredd and Pacific Rim's look like Mr. Rogers. Max's return wasn't easy and the film was delayed for over a year; let's hope all of that doesn't reflect upon this sequel, which looks like Miller has recaptured the essence of the franchise, but sent it way past the red line. Whether audiences will embrace that frenetic, sometimes bizarre vision or not is up for discussion, but this one appears to be the one that could knock Ultron from its throne.
Watch the trailer for Mad Max: Fury Road:

May 15: Pitch Perfect 2
Director: Elizabeth Banks
Starring: Anna Kendrick, Rebel Wilson, Brittany Snow, Elizabeth Banks
Plot: The sequel follows Beca and her a-cappella group as they enter a worldwide competition.
Why We're Interested: Again, Hollywood is doing some creative maneuvering with its schedule, placing tough action films in Weeks 1 & 3 and comedies in Weeks 2 & 4. Although this is Banks' first directing of a full-length film (she directed a segment for Movie 43), Perfect could be the perfect relief for moviegoers hoping for some relief from crashing cars, Hulks and general mayhem. Pitch Perfect was an unqualified success, both in its theatrical and home releases. A sequel was all but assured, but what does its future look like? Should audiences return, we could see this one return to theaters every other year hoping to recapture the magic and our wallets. Watch the trailer for Pitch Perfect 2:

May 22: Tomorrowland
Director: Brad Bird
Starring: George Clooney
Plot: A group of people set out to find the mythical realm of Tomorrowland.
Why We're Interested: When Disney announced that it was bringing another of its rides to the big screen (remember Pirates of The Caribbean?), audiences weren't quite sure what to expect. Then the trailer was released and one could feel the change sweeping under our feet. Tomorrowland certainly has the vision to become something special, and Bird seems like the right fit here. The question is, does Clooney? Once a fixture on television, he arrived with Ocean's Eleven but then went on to make more socially important films. Does he still have the Clooney aura to carry a film geared at a much different audience? We hope it works out, as both its stunning visuals and world-building would seem to make it the perfect summer film.
Watch the trailer for Tomorrowland:

May 22: Poltergeist
Director: Gil Kenan
Starring: Jared Harris, Sam Rockwell, Rosemarie DeWitt
Plot: A reboot of the horror classic. A family relocates to a suburban home where their daughter is seized by malevolent forces.
Why We're Interested: The end of May brings us a collection of films that frankly could go either way. One of them is Poltergeist, which looks terrific in its trailer (see below), but might find its way to lower openings, based on the success of the rest of the month. As we've said before, we've been in the middle of a horror renaissance, but that's mostly been based in smaller films having to actually tell great stories. If this new Poltergeist can do that, then we could have another The Conjuring or Sinister. Fans spoke loudly with the great success of It Follows, so it stands to reason that this remake could do quite well, but only if they forget the '80s instant classic.
Watch the trailer for Poltergeist:

May 29: San Andreas
Director: Brad Peyton
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Carla Gugino, Paul Giamatti
Plot: When a catastrophic earthquake hits California, a rescue helicopter pilot sets out to save his daughter.
Why We're Interested: San Andreas is another of these films that could bomb or merely have a respectable opening. It faces a number of challenges: one, audiences have already seen such deadly reminders in the disaster epics The Day After Tomorrow and 2012. Are audiences interested in yet another of these? Second, both Day and 2012 suffered from soulless plots and plenty of big action set pieces, something of which San Andreas might want to take note. We want realistic natural destruction, not the silliness of a world where humans can jump onto a helicopter as a building collapses. San Andreas could surprise us, though, based on the rather heavy way the trailer below ends. It should sound great in a big-format theater, but will it fill us with anything more?
Watch the trailer for San Andreas:

May 29: Aloha
Director:Cameron Crowe
Starring: Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone, Rachel McAdams, Jay Baruchel, Alec Baldwin, Danny McBride
Plot: A defense contractor falls for an Air Force pilot after he is assigned to oversee the launch of a weapons satellite from Hawaii.
Why We're Interested: A thoroughly odd addition to May, Aloha feels like a late-October, tug-at-your-heart cryfest about broken promises and lost opportunities. Although Cameron Crowe is helming, his stellar youth has not translated into the modern era, with We Bought a Zoo landing a decisive dud on theaters back in 2011. Certainly he's assembled a great cast, that also includes Bill Murray, but are audiences ready for what could be a cookie-cutter '80s experience? from a guy whose last great film was from that era (Say Anything)?
Watch the trailer for Aloha:

Can anyone defeat Earth's Mightiest Heroes?
We've been waiting for May's greatness to arrive, but is there anyone who can seriously give Ultron a run for it's money? No, but that doesn't mean the month isn't filled with a ton of interesting selections. If the last few summers are any indication, the big boys always have a distinct advantage, leaving smaller films and those bigger ones with limited interest to fend for themselves. If by some incredible error that leads to Ultron stumbling or outright disappointing, Fury Road seems like the only one that could step in. But that's a longshot at best, so keep an eye on the films you still want to see, even if they didn't make our list. Regardless of the outcome, Hollywood has delivered a slate of appealing films that should keep audiences with their tubs of popcorn coming back throughout the month.

For now, be sure to add these to your Movies To-Do List:
May 1: The Avengers: Age of Ultron
May 8: Hot Pursuit
May 15: Mad Max: Fury Road, Pitch Perfect 2
May 22: Tomorrowland, Poltergeist
May 29: San Andreas, Aloha

Which films are you looking forward to this month? Comment below and join the conversation!

Discuss this story with fellow SJF fans on Facebook. On Twitter, follow us at @SandwichJohnFilms, and follow author Matt Cummings at @mfc90125.

Here's What Jared Leto's Joker Will Look Like

"Do you want to know how I got these tats?"

By Brandon Wolfe

In celebration of the character’s 75th anniversary, Suicide Squad director David Ayer has tweeted a photo of the Joker as he will be portrayed by Jared Leto. The photo, presenting a tatted-up version of the Clown Prince of Crime, registers something of a shock, as it indicates an extreme reinterpretation of the iconic character, something DC has seemed bent on doing to many of its iconic characters in its bid to craft a cinematic universe of its own.

It’s worth mentioning that when images first popped up online of Heath Ledger’s Joker from The Dark Knight, they too seemed to suggest an initially troubling major overhaul of the character’s appearance, with the long, greasy hair and mutilated smile. But Leto’s Joker, with his Juggalo visage, has especially struck many as a needless, tone-deaf modernization of something that didn’t need to be updated, and yet more evidence that Warner Bros' decision to veer away from Marvel's more faithful approach might be ill-advised. But if Leto’s performance is anywhere near as strong as Ledger’s, and if he wears a shirt during the bulk of his screentime, then perhaps it won’t matter.

Discuss this story with fellow SJF fans on Facebook. On Twitter, follow us at @SandwichJohnFilms, and follow author Brandon Wolfe at @BrandonTheWolfe.

Friday, April 24, 2015

#TerminatorGenisys Japanese TV Spots. New Arnold Vs Original Arnold Plus New Footage

Five new TV spots for Terminator: Genisys from Japan feature some new footage not seen before.

Terminator: Genisys is directed by Alan Taylor ("Game of Thrones," Thor: The Dark World) and written by Laeta Kalogridis (Avatar, Shutter Island) and Patrick Lussier (Drive Angry). Emilia Clarke, Jason Clarke, Jai Courtney, J.K. Simmons, Byung-hun Lee and Matt Smith all star in the film that takes a completely different approach to the Terminator timeline, finding Sarah Connor orphaned and being raised and trained by an aging T-800 Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger) as Kyle Reese (Courtney) is sent back in time from the future again on a new mission. Paramount Pictures & Skydance release the film this summer July 1st.

Watch all the clips after the Jump...

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Win Tickets To An Advance Screening For #Bravetown In Phoenix

Win Tickets To An Advance Screening For Bravetown on May 4th at 7:00 PM in Phoenix.

Josh Harvest, a hardened New York City teen from a broken home – and quietly one of the country’s top dance club DJs and remixers – is sentenced to counseling for a minor drug infraction, along with an extended stay with his estranged father, who lives in a small town in North Dakota. He is slow to warm to his new environment, a town best-known for sending its young off to war, many of whom never return. But when Josh is asked to help out the last-place dance team as they vie for the state competition title, his rough exterior begins to soften. As his relationships emerge with both the team’s captain, Mary, and his therapist, each of whom have lost someone special to war, it forces all three to begin to face and heal their pasts.

The film stars Josh Duhamel, Maria Bello, Laura Dern, Lucas Till and Tom Everett Scott.

See how to win tickets after the Jump...

Make sure to LIKE SandwichJohnFilms on Facebook and follow us on Twitter for all your entertainment news and to be to notified about our upcoming Advance Screenings. Also make sure to subscribe and download our Podcast

EMAIL FOR TICKETS: BravetownScreeningPHX@gmail.com
We will also need your name.

DISCLAIMER: ARRIVE EARLY! SEATING IS FIRST-COME, FIRST-SERVED, EXCEPT FOR MEMBERS OF THE REVIEWING PRESS. THEATER IS OVERBOOKED TO ENSURE A FULL HOUSE. THEATRE IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR OVERBOOKING. THIS PASS DOES NOT GUARANTEE ADMISSION AND MUST BE SURRENDERED UPON DEMAND. NO ONE WILL BE ADMITTED WITHOUT A TICKET AND ONLY REVIEWING PRESS WILL BE ADMITTED AFTER THE SCREENING BEGINS. Duplicate passes will not be accepted. Screening passes are non transferable. This ticket is NOT for resale. Reselling of tickets is strictly prohibited and punishable by law. All those found in violation will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. MPAA - No Recording This screening will be monitored for unauthorized recording. By attending, you agree not to bring any audio and/or visual recording device including laptop computers into the theater and you consent to physical search of have against you. Unauthorized recording will be reported to law enforcement and may subject you to criminal and civil liability (including damages up to $150,000). *This includes, by way of example only, smart phones and your belongings and person for such device. If you attempt to enter with a recording device, you will be denied admission. If you attempt to use a recording device*, you consent to your Immediate removal from the theater and forfeiture of the device.

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The most talked about movie of the year FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, starring Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan, arrives on Digital HD Friday, May 1st and on Blu-ray™ Friday, May 8th from Universal Pictures Home Entertainment. The release features more than two hours of bonus content including an exclusive tease of FIFTY SHADES DARKER, an Unrated Edition of the film and an Alternate Ending.

See the new image after the Jump...

The story of a searing love affair between a naïve college student and a billionaire entrepreneur, Fifty Shades of Grey, will have women worldwide planning a special Friday night in when the provocative love story comes home for the first time. Fans of Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele will be able to have the ultimate at-home movie experience when Fifty Shades of Grey, the global phenomenon that grossed more than $500 million globally, comes to Digital HD Friday, May 1, 2015 and Blu-ray™, DVD and On Demand Friday, May 8, 2015 from Universal Pictures Home Entertainment. Based on E. L. James’ best-selling novel, the Blu-ray™ and Digital HD include an exclusive unrated version that features a never-before-seen alternate ending along with almost two hours of all-new bonus features that go behind the scenes of this year’s hottest romance.

Shy and unassuming literature student Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) finds her life forever altered when she interviews the enigmatic Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) and is dazzled by the charismatic entrepreneur and his high-flying lifestyle. As the pair embarks on a passionate affair, Ana soon discovers that Grey has dark secrets and desires that will push her to the limits of her imagination—and beyond.

Jamie Dornan (TV’s The Fall, Once Upon a Time) and Dakota Johnson (The Social Network, 21 Jump Street) head up a talented cast that includes Eloise Mumford (TV’s The River), Max Martini (Captain Phillips), Marcia Gay Harden (Into the Wild), Luke Grimes (HBO’s True Blood), Jennifer Ehle (Zero Dark Thirty), Victor Rasuk (TV’s Stalker) and Rita Ora (upcoming Southpaw) in the wildly anticipated film adaptation of one of the fastest-selling book series ever published.

• Fifty Shades of Grey Unrated and Theatrical Versions
• The World of Fifty Shades of Grey: Discover the artistry involved in creating everything Fifty Shades of Grey, including in-depth profiles of stars Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson, and the characters they play.
 CHRISTIAN GREY: Inside the world of Christian Grey and what makes him so magnetic and mysterious.
• CHRISTIAN GREY PROFILE: Illustrated with film clips: Who is Christian Grey?
• JAMIE DORNAN PROFILE: Meet the actor behind the iconic character.
• CHRISTIAN’S APARTMENT: Living room, dining room, bedroom, bathroom and the Red Room
• CHRISTIAN’S WARDROBE: A look into Christian’s wardrobe.
• A RICH MAN’S TOYS: Christian’s cars, the plane, the helicopter, all of the recognizable items from the book, now on screen
 ANA: Discovering Ana and what makes her so compelling and relatable.
• ALL ABOUT ANA: Learn more about the Ana character
• DAKOTA JOHNSON PROFILE: Meet the incredible actress behind Anastasia Steele.
• ANA’S WORLD: Beginning with her life as college student to her transformation into a woman living a life of luxury with Christian Grey.
• ANA’S WARDROBE: A look into Ana’s wardrobe.
• E.L. James & Fifty Shades: A chat with the creator of “Fifty Shades,” discussing the history of the novel and the experience making the film. Follow the author at the Premiere screening in New York and come full circle as the film is released to the fans.
• Fifty Shades: The Pleasure of Pain: A discussion with the BDSM consultant and a show-and-tell with property master.
• 360° Set Tours of Christian and Ana’s apartments including the Red Room
• Music Videos from Skylar Grey, The Weeknd and Ellie Goulding
• Behind the Scenes of The Weekend’s “Earned It” Music Video

• The World of Fifty Shades of Grey—Friends and Family: Profiles of cast members including Eloise Mumford, Max Martini, Marcia Gay Harden, Luke Grimes, Jennifer Ehle, Victor Rasuk and Rita Ora
• Behind the Shades: Follow alongside director Sam Taylor-Johnson, producers E. L. James, Mike De Luca and Dana Brunetti, actors Jamie Dornan, Dakota Johnson and the rest of the cast through the making of the movie, including a candid discussion about the most challenging aspects of the story.

Website: http://www.fiftyshadesofgreymovie.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/fiftyshadesofgreymovie
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fiftyshades
Instagram: https://instagram.com/fiftyshadesmovie/
Hashtag: #FiftyShades

The worldwide phenomenon comes to life in Fifty Shades of Grey, starring Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan in the iconic roles of Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey. Ana is an inexperienced college student tasked with interviewing enigmatic billionaire Christian Grey. But what starts as business quickly becomes an unconventional romance. Swept up in Christian's glamorous lifestyle, Ana soon finds another side to him as she discovers his secrets and explores her own dark desires. What results is a thrilling, all-consuming romance as Christian and Ana test the limits they will go to for their relationship.

Cast: Jamie Dornan, Dakota Johnson, Eloise Mumford, Max Martini, Marcia Gay Harden, Luke Grimes, Jennifer Ehle, Victor Rasuk, Rita Ora
Directed By: Sam Taylor-Johnson
Written By: Kelly Marcel
Based on the Book By: E. L. James
Produced By: Dana Brunetti, Michael De Luca, E. L. James
Executive Produced By: Jeb Brody, Marcus Viscidi
Director of Photography: Seamus McGarvey
Production Designer: David Wasco
Edited By: Anne V. Coates, Lisa Gunning, Debra Neil-Fisher
Costume Designer: Mark Bridges
Music By: Danny Elfman

Street Date: May 8, 2015
Copyright: 2015 Universal Pictures Home Entertainment
Selection Number: 61130687
Layers: BD-50
Aspect Ratio: Widescreen, 2.40:1
Rating: R for strong sexual content including dialogue, some unusual behavior and graphic nudity, and for language; unrated
Languages/Subtitles: English SDH, Spanish and French Subtitles
Sound: English DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1/Dolby Digital 2.0, Spanish DTS Surround 5.1, French DTS Surround 5.1
Run Time: 2 hours, 6 minutes/2 hours 9 minutes

Street Date: May 8, 2015
Copyright: 2015 Universal Pictures Home Entertainment
Selection Number: 61130688
Layers: Dual
Aspect Ratio: 2.40:1
Rating: R for strong sexual content including dialogue, some unusual behavior and graphic nudity, and for language; unrated
Languages/Subtitles: English SDH, Spanish and French Subtitles
Sound: English Dolby Digital 5.1, Spanish Dolby Digital 5.1, French Dolby Digital 5.1
Run Time: 2 hours, 6 minutes

About Universal Pictures Home Entertainment
Universal Pictures Home Entertainment (UPHE) is a unit of Universal Pictures, a division of Universal Studios (www.universalstudios.com). Universal Studios is a part of NBCUniversal, one of the world’s leading media and entertainment companies in the development, production, and marketing of entertainment, news, and information to a global audience. NBCUniversal owns and operates a valuable portfolio of news and entertainment television networks, a premier motion picture company, significant television production operations, a leading television stations group, world-renowned theme parks, and a suite of leading Internet-based businesses. NBCUniversal is a subsidiary of Comcast Corporation.

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First Images From #VictorFrankenstein Starring James McAvoy & Daniel Radcliffe

Victor Frankenstein is back and this time – unlike Mel Brooks' version – it’s not pronounced “Fronkensteen”. James McAvoy is donning the scientist’s garb in the new iteration of Mary Shelley’s Gothic tale and, alongside co-star Daniel Radcliffe’s Igor, he’s arrived to meet his public in two exclusive shots from the new issue of Empire.

See all the images after the Jump...

Note the heavyweight leather jerkin and goggles adorning McAvoy’s not-entirely-good doctor. The monster he’s creating – the film’s big reveal – is akin to something terrible birthed from the Industrial Revolution, a steampunk messiah that may just destroy its own creator. Note, too, Radcliffe’s ramrod posture as he remains in character for this between-takes snap. Clearly Dr. Frankenstein’s unique brand of chiropractic is working on his hitherto hunchbacked factotum.

“As much as the monster is his creation, Igor is his creation as well,” explained McAvoy on set. “That was quite exciting. It’s funny, the script, but also really dark, in a cool way."

Overseeing all this is Paul ‘Gangster No.1' McGuigan, directing from a script by Chronicle's Max Landis. Alongside McAvoy and Radcliffe, Victor Frankenstein will boast the acting talents of Mark Gatiss, Jessica Brown Findlay and Andrew Scott .

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#THEPEANUTSMOVIE Character Posters

20th Century Fox is excited to share the brand new character posters for highly anticipated 3D animation, THE PEANUTS MOVIE! Be sure to check out all of your favorite Peppermint Patty, Marcie, Schroeder, Sally, Franklin, Violet and Pigpen, in their brand new posters via Fandango.
PEANUTS characters, including

See all the posters after the Jump...

Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Lucy, Linus and the rest of the beloved “Peanuts” gang make their big-screen debut, like they’ve never been seen before, in state of the art 3D animation. Snoopy, the world’s most lovable beagle – and flying ace – embarks upon his greatest mission as he takes to the skies to pursue his arch-nemesis The Red Baron, while his best pal, Charlie Brown, begins his own epic quest. From the imagination of Charles M. Schulz and the creators of the ICE AGE films, THE PEANUTS MOVIE will prove that every underdog has his day.

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#LoveAndMercy Official Poster Starring Cusack, Banks & Giamatti

LOVE & MERCY presents an unconventional portrait of Brian Wilson, the mercurial singer, songwriter and leader of The Beach Boys. Set against the era defining catalog of Wilson’s music, the film intimately examines the personal voyage and ultimate salvation of the icon whose success came at extraordinary personal cost.

Directed by Bill Pohlad
Written by Oren Moverman and Michael Alan Lerner
Starring John Cusack, Paul Dano, Elizabeth Banks and Paul Giamatti

LOVE & MERCY will open in theaters June 5, 2015

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The Vikings came, and found Paris a much bigger obstacle than they have ever encountered. As the season closes, the Vikings have come to terms with Paris, and are the brink of losing their King. Ragnar is dying from his injuries, on one of his terms to tend the siege was a baptism to reunite him with his dear friend Athelstan when he leaves this world.

The French ride to see the Vikings. They have brought all the treasure as they had promised. They have met their obligation, and hope that the Vikings will meet theirs as well and leave promptly. Rollo is not pleased with this at all, but many of the others seem pretty pleased with the outcome.

Rollo goes to see his brother, he tells him that they have brought the payment. The treasure makes no difference to Ragnar, he is dying. He holds Athelstan's cross, content in the knowledge that he will see Athelstan again.

Floki walks with Rollo for a moment, he warned the others that the priest was poisoning Ragnar, and now Rollo has a heavy heart. Lagertha does not believe in her heart that Ragnar wants to be a christian. Rollo was baptized too, but he was protected from the Christian magic by their Gods, Ragnar is not so lucky because of Athelstan.

Kalf hopes that the Christian rumors are true, believing that no Christian King will ever rule their world. Its an insult to their Gods and people. Assassination plots are dreamt of.

Inside the walls of Paris, the mass is held. The Emperor is a little too pleased with himself. All go to their knees expect him at the final invocation. The commander heads to speak with Princess Gisla, but she refuses him. Another maiden does with to prove her gratitude, but the Count is called away. The Emperor sees their victory as a great one, but Princess Gisla does not feel it is so. They paid the Vikings to leave. The Emperor thinks that they will be better prepared next time.

Many celebrate into the night. Floki seeks out Helga, but she doesn't want him to touch her. She cannot forgive him for what she knows.

Bjorn sits with his dying father. Ragnar tells him that there will come a time when he is responsible for their people. He is king for now. He tells Bjorn that when the time comes he needs to lead with his head not his heart. He has a task for him.

Rollo looks to Paris in the distance, remembering the words of the seer.

The celebrations have ceased, and most lie sleeping, including Ragnar. Lagertha peeks at him, but does not disturb him.

The Count entertains the maiden in his bed chambers. Her husband won't miss her for the night. She thinks the princess is boring, and wishes to entertain him. He leads her downstairs, to his little torture chamber. That's not the sort of entertainment she was thinking of. He asks her to submit to being chained up and whipped, she can even choose her whip. The woman doesn't back down. She looks at the whipping instruments as he tells her she can call a halt at any time. She gets into shackle position, ready to keep his interest. He asks her to tell him to strike, and she does. He lands a heavy blow to her back.

Floki is building when Helga finds him early in the morning. Ragnar asked him to build him one final thing.

The French look out over their walls. It's been nearly a month since they paid the Vikings, and yet they have not left yet, and they want to know why.

The French ask the Vikings directly to see why the Vikings have not left. Bjorn tells them honestly, Ragnar is too sick and dying, he cannot travel. The Count wants to see for himself, and Bjorn takes him, while his men await outside. Inside of the tent, Bjorn tells him that if Ragnar dies he asks for a proper Christian burial. Should Ragnar die, the Count will allow him to be brought to the Cathedral by unarmed men, and a mass will be said for his soul. Ragnar shakes and sputters. He grabs his son's hand, as the Traveler and the count leave them.

Night falls, and there is singing. Bjorn sits outside of Ragnar's death tent. From their walls, the French keep watch. Ragnar's time has come, and Bjorn closes the door to his death boat. He leaves the tent, and all come to hear the news of Ragnar's passing. Ragnar's boat is lifted to its display, as Bjorn tells the group that they may go say their final words to him.

Lagertha goes to see her former husband says. She never thought that the Gods had this in store for him. If he has gone to heaven, they will never see each other again. She believes though that Odin will make his way to Heaven and take him to Valhalla where he belongs. With after everything, she hopes that they will be able to once again fight, drink and love one another.

Rollo admits to his brother that he was always jealous of him. He's sorry he's dead, but it happens to all of them sooner or later. He finds it funny that the Gods took him first, he always thought the Gods favored Ragnar, even Ragnar thought that, but it seems they were both mistaken.

Floki comes next. He made the boat that took Ragnar to fame, and the boat that will take him to Heaven. He tells him to give his regards to Athelstan. He feels like Ragnar betrayed his heritage, everything and everyone, especially him. He loved Ragnar more than anyone, more than that priest, but Ragnar never appreciated Floki. Floki hates Ragnar, and loves him with all his heart, even as he tears him away from himself.

The Vikings chant and sing as they carry their beloved King to Paris. Just as the French promise, they open the gates to receive Ragnar. His pallbearers are allowed into the city, as the other continue their ceremony outside of the walls. The gates close behind Ragnar's ship as it is lead towards the cathedral. The French cross themselves, and sing their mass for the fallen King. It's both solemn and beautiful. Behind the procession, the people follow into the cathedral. Ragnar's death boat is brought before the Emperor and Princess Gisla, the mass begins. As the priest sprinkles holy water on it, Ragnar wakes, and throws the boat open, scaring everyone inside. Ragnar holds the Emperor at knife point. Well that was one hell of a Trojan horse. Ragnar kills the bishop. Princess Gisla goes on the attack, and Ragnar grabs her. The Count cautions everyone from stopping him, for fear that he will kill the Princess. The Emperor faints. Ragnar takes the Princess through the streets with his pallbearers, back towards the gates. The Vikings cut the ropes to the bridge to stop the French from stopping him. He opens the gates, and his horde is on the other side. Ragnar lets the Princess go, but she's confused. He pushes her towards her guards, and she finally runs. Bjorn motions the attack forward. Ragnar returns to his son. It was prophicized that the living could not conquer Paris, but that the dead could. Ragnar collapses to his knees before his son. Lagertha and the others walk forward, and head into Paris.

The French try to muster a defense, but the Vikings are inside.

The city is falling, and the people are huddled inside of the cathedral. Princess Gisla returns. The Commanding Count thought that the Vikings would leave after they got what they wanted, but they didn't want treasure. The Emperor is in shock, his cathedral has been defiled. Princess Gisla tells him to get up, the heathen are gone.

Lagertha is not pleased that Bjorn kept the truth of Ragnar's nondeath from them. She feels that he does not trust them. Bjorn was only doing what his father told him to do. They're headed back home, but intend to come back in the spring, and they need to leave a presence there. Floki offers to stay, but Rollo tells him no, that he has no reason to stay. Bjorn wants to know his reason to stay. Bjorn makes the decision that Rollo and his chosen will stay while the rest return home.

From the shore, Rollo watches his brother, and his family leave him far behind. Ragnar gives his brother a final look from the boat, as he's rowed out.

The Emperor dines with his daughter, glad that they're able to enjoy their fine foods again. He knows that the Vikings have left for now, but they will return in the spring. Princess Gisla thinks that one of his brothers would come to their aid. The Emperor admits that he has begged and pleaded for aid, but none has come, none will come. He sends his servers away. He will not be the Emperor who let Paris become ruin. Princess Gisla asks him if he will give them more money in disgust. He plans to give them something more precious to him, her. Princess Gisla is displeased, she thinks that this is the work of the count, since she refused him. She would do almost anything for her city, but not this. The Emperor has already sent an envoy, and the Princess is even more distraught that she was not asked first. As the Emperor, he had to make a hard decision, and she must obey it.

Rollo is given the terms of the treaty. He will become very rich and very important, and he will get the Princess as a wife. Rollo asks what he must do in return. Rollo would have to defend Paris against his brother in return.

Rollo heads in to meet with the Emperor. He takes in the opulence as everyone openly stares at him. His men fan out around him, and the Emperor welcomes him warmly. Princess Gisla, not so much. She tells him that she will not marry him, that he has no soul, and he is worse than the beasts of the field. He disgusts her. Rollo likes her spirit. He tries his tongue at French, and is happy at his effort.

The Vikings continue their long voyage home. While most sleep, Floki cannot. Ragnar calls to him, and he hurries, like an eager puppy. Floki searches Ragnar's face. Ragnar knows the truth now. Floki killed Athelstan.

Discuss this review with fellow SJF fans on Facebook and make sure to follow us at @SandwichJFilms on Twitter, and follow the author Sue Lukenbaugh on Twitter at @suepafly.

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Thursday, April 23, 2015

Movie Review: The Water Diviner

A passionate tale of the great lengths a father would endure to find his missing children.

Review by @ErikaAshley

In Russell Crowe’s The Water Diviner - a film based on true events - opens with a Joshua Connor (Russell Crowe) and his wife Eliza (Jacqueline McKenzie), struggling with their day to day lives four years after their three sons go missing in action during the bloody Battle of Gallipoli in 1915. Joshua Connor an Australian farmer and water diviner, continues to live his empty life while his wife struggles accepting the fact that their children are most likely deceased. Eliza swiftly takes her life out of grief and leaves Joshua devastated. After being left widowed, Joshua promises to seek out his missing sons to bring them back home to be buried next to their mother. He then ventures alone to Turkey, the last known location of the boys, and begins the voyage to find his sons.

While on his mission Joshua comes across an inn in Istanbul where he meets a beautiful inn keeper, Ayesha (Olga Kurylenko) and her adorable son. They struggle like Joshua after the end of World War I as their main breadwinner and Ayesha’s husband still remains missing after having fought for the Ottoman Empire. However when they enter each other’s lives they are both given a new at love and hope for a better future. With the assistance from an unlikely source, and Joshua’s shear stubborn determination, and fatherly intuition Joshua locates his three boys and gets a second chance at life.

The Water Diviner is Russell Crowe’s directorial debut and a monumental undertaking that was received with outstanding praise. Being as though Crowe directed and starred as the main character it could be seen as an overzealous stroke for his ego but is well deserved with the great acting on his part and the supporting characters. The film is sprinkled with humor when needed to break of the gory war scenes. The beautiful relationships that evolve and resonate throughout are based on realistic tone that runs through the storyline and hits close to home for many viewers. The acting is amazing and full of fresh faces. The cinematography is so well thought out and the coloring really brings a warm feeling to what could be just another cold war story. The score will bring you to tears just at the right time. And, although the overall story is a classic hero’s journey viewers are rooting for every character and hardly forced to dislike anyone for very long.

You are taken on a realistic excursion that forces you to be a part of the story and forget you’re only watching a film. It’s been a long time since a drama has drawn me in so far that I forget I’ve sat in a theater for nearly two hours. And, at the end of the film viewers are able to sit back and sigh a breath of relief knowing that all is set right in the world. The Water Diviner and Crowe are gunning for an Oscar and there is a strong possibility that they will be draped in prestige and for good reason.

The Water Diviner has a runtime of 111 minutes and is Rated R for war violence including some disturbing images.

CinemaCon: 'Furious 8' to be Released in 2017

Learn why the announcement comes as no surprise.

Story by Matt Cummings

Furious 7 has been an unqualified hit, no matter how you slice it. The death of Actor Paul Walker in 2013 nearly ended the franchise as Universal struggled to re-shoot portions of the film with Director James Wan. When it finally released on April 3rd, the high-flying car caper drew huge crowds but not overly positive critical reviews. In fact, fans themselves could make a claim that it's the weakest since the original trilogy.

Even if such suggestions spark fierce debate among moviegoers, the film has surpassed the $1.1 billion mark, and has made over $300 million domestically. That's a win no matter how you slice. Part of its success was the film's poignant ending, showing Walker's character Brian O'Conner driving off into the sunset as his partner Dom (Vin Diesel) looked on. And even with that teary-eyed ending, its amazing performance dictated that a sequel be considered.

At today's CinemaCon in Las Vegas, Universal did much more than that.

Holding back tears, Diesel announced on Thursday that Furious 8 will hit theaters on April 14, 2017, confirming the old addage that the show must go on. In financial terms, it was nearly a given when in its first weekend the movie topped $130m domestically on its way to a staggering $300m total. That's a number that no theater owner can deny, especially when one can still see dozens of moviegoers pouring out of a showing on a Tuesday night (our personal experience at a recent screening for another film).

With such an aggressive release date, Universal will need to make several important decisions quickly:
  • Will there be a replacement for Paul Walker's character?
  • Will Director James Wan return?
  • Can the franchise survive without Paul Walker's character?

    What say you, fellow Sandwich-ers? What kind of a film do you want to see, and what are your opinions of our three questions above? Get involved in the conversation!

    Discuss this review with fellow SJF fans on Facebook. On Twitter, follow us at @SandwichJohnFilms, and follow author Matt Cummings at @mfc90125. Read more...

  • Movie Review: The Age of Adaline

    Beautifully shot, The Age of Adaline fails as much as it succeeds.

    Review by Matt Cummings

    Time travel and love seem to be inexorably intertwined, portrayed with varying levels of success. From Superman's attempt to save Lois Lane by spinning the world backwards to roll back time, to the Christopher Reeve/Jane Seymour drama Somewhere in Time, the subgenre hasn't gotten it quite right. And while beautifully shot and (mostly) well-acted, The Age of Adaline suffers from too many structural issues to recommend beyond a matinee dinner date.

    When a young woman (Blake Lively) crashes her car during an unexpected snowstorm, she is imbued with immortality, making her a witness to the events of the 20th Century. But immortality has also been a fierce trap: forced to move every decade to escape suspicion, Adaline can never settle down for fear that the government will find her. But a chance meeting on New Years Eve with the wealthy Ellis (Michiel Huissman) leads Adaline down a potentially dangerous road. You see, Ellis' father (Harrison Ford) harbors a dark secret that involves Adaline and is only revealed when the trio gather so that Ellis can introduce her to his parents. As she tries desperately to balance her new love with the ghosts of her past, Adaline must decide to either run or brave her new world before fate intervenes.

    Lively more than holds her own here, maturing from cold and practiced immortal to a loving woman who realizes it's never too late to fall in love. It's great to see her dress up and defeat everyone with a grace that modern women simply don't have - this is due entirely to her circumstances, but Lively sways her hips through the decades with perfect suavity. She portrays Adaline with a quiet sadness: never get too close, for fate (or the law) is soon to step in. Director Lee Toland Keiger and Cinematographer David Lazenberg wrap the viewer in a sumptuous world of history, from elegant clothes to even fancier environments. They even choose to shoot various era in different filters, gifting this universe with even more substance. But Keiger also demonstrates his acumen by getting the most out of his leads (some of which is frankly asking for a lot) and painting a world that Adaline continues to pass by as a quiet observer of history. It's fascinating universe-building stuff left mostly for Science-Fiction and superhero films.

    I've been saying for since 2011 that Harrison Ford has returned to his old form, and in Age he turns in his best performance since perhaps Air Force One. That person who made so many dull films in the 1990's/2000's seems replaced with this much better one, and here his character struggles with truly amazing revelations. Ford delivers a perfect mix of shock, disbelief, and scientific curiosity as Adaline lights a fire under his marriage that only he can put out. It's nice to see his return isn't limited to reacting to explosions.

    And yet for all its attributes, Age suffers just as equally in a few important areas. Considering all of the bigger issues it tries desperately to address, Huisman's performance feels like a giddy 12-year-old who's just seen his first naked woman. As Ellis, he's totally unprepared for Lively's quick wit; as an actor, Huisman is oddly-cast as a bearded (and much weaker) version of Eric Bana or Shia LaBeoff. Scenes with him drop like a rock, while those between Lively and Ford are some of the best I've seen all year. The stolid narration of Hugh Ross is totally unnecessary, almost adding a (non-intentioned) comedic element where none should exist.

    Writers J. Mills Goodloe and Salvador Paskowitz are front and center for both blame and praise. At one end, the story features sharp dialogue that easily acclimates the audience to Adaline's world, making her into a sympathetic figure by pitting her against two loves, neither of which she thought she ever deserved. And therein lies the problem: by the time we get to the finale, Adaline has been written into such a corner that only one option remains to get her out. And without giving it away, that end can be seen a mile away. In fact the story is so predictable throughout Act 3 that's hard not to laugh at how proficient you can become at spotting all of them. A far better solution would have been to place Ford's marriage at the center of the story, allowing he and Lively to duke it out before ultimately agreeing to go their separate ways. What we get instead is well-meaning, somewhat powerful performances that needed another strong male lead to bring home the bacon.

    In the end, The Age of Adaline fails for as many reasons as it succeeds. Ford delivers another terrific performance, proving that he's fully back to his Star Wars greatness. Lively more than holds her own, but the same cannot be said for the out-of-place Huisman and the preposterous story/ridiculous conclusion. By the time it's done, we have yet another example of an age-old truth about film: it takes a lot of moving parts to make one special. Here, there's too many misfires to make it anything other than pedestrian.

    The Age of Adaline is Rated PG-13 for a suggestive comment and has a runtime of 110 minutes. Discuss this review with fellow SJF fans on Facebook. On Twitter, follow us at @SandwichJohnFilms, and follow author Matt Cummings at @mfc90125.

    M. Night Shyamalan's #TheVisit Trailer

    The Visit is an upcoming 2015 American horror comedy film written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan

    Things appear normal until two children discover that Nana and Papa (Deanna Dunagan and Peter McRobbie) are involved in something deeply disturbing after being left to stay at their Grandparent's house while their mother is on vacation. They’re warned not to come out of their room past 9:30 at night, but when they do they realize that there's something terribly wrong with their grandparents. After pleading online to Mom for rescue, they realize that they're on their own against the seemingly insane elders.

    Please Leave A Comment-

    Giveaway: #TheMarine4 Moving Targets Blu-ray & Digital HD

    Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment and WWE Studios has provided us with an amazing giveaway for our fans. We will be giving away The Marine 4: Moving Targets on Blu-ray & Digital HD.

    There is no greater force than an American hero! Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment and WWE Studios present the latest installment of the popular franchise The Marine as THE MARINE 4: MOVING TARGET arrives on Digital HD April 10 and on Blu-ray, DVD and VOD April 21.

    WWE Superstar Mike “The Miz” Mizanin is back as American hero Jake Carter in an all-new thrill-packed Marine adventure. Now in the private sector, Carter is assigned to protect a “high-value package” – a beautiful whistleblower trying to expose a corrupt military defense contractor. But a heavily armed team of mercenaries has been hired to kill her, along with anyone who gets in their way, and it’s going to take a fearless one-man fighting machine to stop them. Co-starring WWE Diva Summer Rae in her feature film debut, THE MARINE 4: MOVING TARGET is locked and loaded with explosive action from start to finish.

    Both the Blu-ray and DVD include featurettes that take audiences behind-the-scenes of THE MARINE 4: MOVING TARGET and also offer a retrospective on the entire film franchise. “Firepower” focuses on the film’s intense gun battles to give fans a first-hand look at what goes into the making of these films. “The Franchise” retraces all of The Marine films with interviews and footage featuring the stars and key action scenes. Lastly, “Beauty is Dangerous” places focus on the ladies of THE MARINE 4: MOVING TARGET and how they can look so good while taking care of business!

    See how to enter after the Jump...

    ● “Firepower” featurette
    ● “The Franchise” featurette
    ● “Beauty is Dangerous” featurette

    Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment is the industry leading worldwide marketing, sales and distribution company for all Fox produced, acquired and third party partner film and television programing. Each year TCFHE expands its award-winning global product portfolio with the introduction of new entertainment content through established and emerging formats including DVD, Blu-ray™ and Digital HD™. Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment is a subsidiary of 21st Century Fox.

    WWE Studios develops and produces feature films, as well as television and digital content. Its diverse slate is released theatrically, direct to home, and/or across digital platforms, and is co-produced & distributed through partnerships with premiere global entertainment companies. WWE’s film division, led by President Michael Luisi, is headquartered in Santa Monica, CA. Recent films from WWE Studios include The Call with Halle Berry and WWE Superstar David Otunga™, Oculus directed by Mike Flanagan starring Karen Gillan and Katee Sackhoff, Dead Man Down with Colin Farrell and WWE Superstar Wade Barrett™, No One Lives starring Luke Evans and Brodus Clay™, and Scooby-Doo! WrestleMania Mystery, which paired WWE Superstars with Scooby and the gang. Upcoming films from WWE Studios include Incarnate starring Aaron Eckhart and featuring WWE Superstar Mark Henry®, The Flintstones and WWE: Stone Age Smack Down which joins Fred, Barney and the whole Bedrock gang with stone age versions of WWE Superstars and Divas, Killing Hasselhoff starring Ken Jeong, David Hasselhoff and featuring WWE Legend Hulk Hogan®, The Marine 4: Moving Target starring WWE Superstar The Miz® and WWE Diva Summer Rae™, Vendetta starring Dean Cain and WWE Superstar Big Show® and directed by the Soska Sisters, 12 Rounds 3: Lockdown starring WWE Superstar Dean Ambrose® and The Condemned 2 starring WWE Superstar Randy Orton®.

    Please Leave A Comment-

    Area 51 To Finally See Release

    Alien film will escape from the vault.

    By Brandon Wolfe

    Shortly after Paranormal Activity exploded as a sleeper hit in Fall 2009, its director, Oren Peli, immediately began work on an alien-themed, found-footage companion piece titled Area 51. Though completed, the film never saw release for whatever reason, winding up locked away in the sort of secure facility reminiscent of the titular military base. After so much time on ice, it seemed like Area 51 would never see the light of day, yet a surprise announcement today has changed its fate. The film will now open in very limited release from Friday, May 15 through Sunday, May 17 only at select Alamo Drafthouse Cinema locations, and even then, only showing once per day. Fortunately, it will also be made available on VOD and digital platforms on May 15.

    Area 51, written and directed by Peli and produced by the horror-ubiquitous Jason Blum, is the story of a UFO-obsessed teen who convinces a couple of his friends to cut short their Vegas vacation to assist him in an ill-fated infiltration attempt on Area 51, where they wind up experiencing more extraterrestrial contact than they had expected. The movie stars Reid Warner, Jamel King, Ben Rovner and Jelena Nik.

    Discuss this story with fellow SJF fans on Facebook. On Twitter, follow us at @SandwichJohnFilms, and follow author Brandon Wolfe at @BrandonTheWolfe.

    '2 Broke Girls' S04E18 Recap: And The Taste Test

    It was Max’s the best of Times and it was Caroline’s worst of Times.

    Story by @ErikaAshley

    This week episode begins with Max and new dishwasher, Nash, getting down in dirty in the back of the diner. Max is finally enjoying working there now that she gets to bone a co-worker she likes and Caroline questions Max’s attraction to Nash because his Irish accent is so unattractive. Max reassures her that his lucky charms tickle her fancy just fine. Later Sophie arrives at the diner announcing her bridal dress decision. She’ll be wearing her grandmother’s wedding dress but they’ll need to go dress shopping for the bridesmaid’s dresses. Max reluctantly agrees just as Oleg announces that the wedding will be featured in The Times. To Caroline’s horror she’s drug into being a bridesmaid after Sophie’s cousin cops an attitude over the phone with her and she drops her from the bridal party.

    The next day at The High Caroline suggests to Max that they need to choose a fashionable flattering dress since they’ll be in the newspaper. Sophie arrives eager to show The Girls her grandmother’s dress as it just arrived from Poland. When they open the box and Sophie begins to pull the garment out, the dress tears in half and dust flutters about the room. Joedth enters to find the powder floating through the air and asks what’s going on. She suggests that the ladies visit a bridal shop in Brooklyn and Sophie agrees to go shopping with The Girls. Caroline quickly sets a plan with Max to visit the shop before Sophie to hide all of the ugly dresses so she’ll have no other choice than to let them pick a nice neutral garment.

    The Girls arrive at the bridal shop and bring Nash along to sidetrack the gay salesman, Crazy Carl, and begin to look at the bridesmaids dresses on the racks. As they try to hide the ugliest yellow dress the Carl catches the two hiding dresses and confronts them. He accuses them of hiding their favorite dresses so that they’ll be able to return and buy them the next day at the Annual Half-Off Sale. He even calls out Sophie who secretly was hiding her favorite dresses in the store. The Girls panic as Sophie’s eye catches the hideous yellow frock and she exclaims at its beauty. Carl informs the group that it’s a one of a kind and Caroline looks relieved but then is shocked when Carl tells them there is another matching dress in stock. Sophie squeals with excitement that life is working out perfectly since she only has the two bridesmaids but The Girls sulk in despair.

    The next day The Girls stand in line at the entry to the bridal store along with hundreds of other women. Two girls at the back of the line push their way forward amped to the get the yellow dresses. Relieved Caroline allows the girls to cut so that the other women can get the dresses instead of them. Just as the other ladies push past them Sophie yells to The Girls from the front of the line to join her so they’ll be sure to get the dresses she wants. Caroline returns to sulking and swears her life is yet again ruined. Max gives her an alternative that in order to miss the dress they’ll have to allow themselves to get trampled by the crowd. When Carl opens the doors to the store Max and Caroline fall to the ground and let the women stampeded over them.

    The place is a frenzy of female chaos. Dresses and vails flying left and right. The two women that cut in line to get the yellow dresses scream in fear as Sophie fends them off with a manikin and yells for The Girls to try on the dresses. Carl brings them to the dressing room and the two are forced to see themselves in the hideous dresses. They loath their existence while they try on the frocks and the competing ladies disapprove of their look. When Caroline completely trashes the dress to Max and the other ladies she doesn’t notice Sophie walking up behind her. Sophie tells The Girls she doesn’t care what dress they wear and Caroline is relieved to take the atrocious frock off. After they free themselves of the bright yellow clothing The Girls hear Sophie crying in a dressing room stall.

    The Girls enter the dressing room and find Sophie on the floor sobbing and Max forces Caroline to tell Sophie she has great taste. Against her will Caroline obliges and Sophie jumps up as her usual chipper self and declares they’ll get the dresses back. As they leave the dressing room Max notices the dresses are gone. The next day at the diner Caroline cheers that they won’t have to wear the ugly yellow dresses after all but Max quickly reminders her that since Caroline complimented Sophie’s taste, Sophie has decided to design the dresses herself. Oleg chimes in celebrating he was able to get a semi-famous Polish photographer to take wedding pictures for the Warsaw Times newspaper. Caroline rejoices again that her Times comeback debut is still intact now that the wedding will only be public news in Poland.

    This week’s episode was a bit raunchier than usual but hilarious none the less. As Sophie’s wedding spectacle nears viewers can only imagine what is to come from the overzealous fashionista. But whatever The Girls are doing they’re making bank as their account jumps from $286.00 to $711.00.

    Tyler Perry Joins Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2

    Madea on the half shell.

    By Brandon Wolfe

    Last year’s impossibly awful reboot of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles made a ton of money, so we are thus condemned to be plunged into the toxic ooze once more in a sequel. That sequel will now add Tyler Perry, of all people, as Baxter Stockman, a scientist well-known to fans of TMNT lore. Stockman was the inventor of the Mousers, robotic exterminators used to deal with rat infestations, and thus a viable weapon for Shredder to wield against Splinter, the Turtles’ rat sensei. In the cartoon series, Stockman also became a human/fly hybrid creature, because Cronenberg’s The Fly was all the rage at the time, but there’s no word yet if that incarnation of Stockman will be on the table in the film.

    Perry will join Arrow’s Stephen Amell, recently cast as hockey-masked vigilante Casey Jones, as well as returning stars Megan Fox and Will Arnett. It has also been said that Bebop and Rocksteady, mutant fan-favorites from the cartoon, will be introduced into the sequel. However, since the exact same creative team (including dreaded producer Michael Bay) is encoring for the second infusion of turtle power, best to keep your expectations down in the sewer where they belong.

    Discuss this story with fellow SJF fans on Facebook. On Twitter, follow us at @SandwichJohnFilms, and follow author Brandon Wolfe at @BrandonTheWolfe.

    'One Big Happy' S01E05 Recap: A Tale of 2 Hubbies

    Two husbands and twice the trouble.

    Story by @ErikaAshley

    Luke, Lizzie and Prudence ready themselves for a trip to Vegas to celebrate Luke and Prudence’s 2 month anniversary. Luke admires Lizzie’s “carefree” decision to join them after 2 weeks of preparation and Lizzie congratulates him on his miniscule anniversary. The group goes to the chapel where the couple tied the knot and finds the place in shambles. When they asked what happened in such a short period of time an employee informs them that none of the weddings or marriage licenses were legal as the chapel was just a front for the mob. Shocked and afraid of being deported Prudence freaks out because they only have a week to really get married before her visa expires. Lizzie chimes in that she’ll help them plan a great real wedding and Luke agrees. He gets down on one knee and proposes to Prudence with a gummy fruit ring.

    Back at home Lizzie toots her own horn for being the best Wedding Planner and Best Man because she was able to track down Prudence’s father and flew him in to LA so that Luke could ask him for Prudence’s hand in marriage. Luke’s nervous and excited but thanks Lizzie for helping track down Prudence’s father. He introduces himself and begins to ask for permission when Prudence walks in and drops her groceries in shock. Lizzie announces her surprise to Prudence and Martin corrects Lizzie that he’s not Prudence’s father but instead is her husband. Prudence tries to correct him and insists he’s her ex-husband but he denies it as he hasn’t signed the divorce papers just yet. Meaning they are still legally married. Luke leaves to the kitchen and downs a beer while Prudence begs for forgiveness and apologizes for not telling him sooner.

    Luke lashes out at her in the kitchen and Lizzie tries to relieve the tension by apologizing. Prudence apologizes repeatedly and Luke demands to know everything she hasn’t told him yet, but decides against it and goes to confront her should-be-ex-husband. He pumps himself up to go demand Martin sign the divorce documents and leave back to England. When he goes to rough Martin up in the living room, Martin pulls a fast one on Luke and confuses him with some quick talking. Instead he tells Luke that he’s let Prudence go once but he’ll never let her go again.

    Later that evening Luke, Lizzie, Prudence and their friends get together at a local bar and bring Martin along. Lizzie printed up some official British divorce papers and sets the plan that they’ll get Martin so drunk he won’t even know what he’s signing. Prudence pipes up and says the plan will never work because no one can outdrink Martin and the group witness him double fisting two drinks at the bar. He brings a round of shots to the group’s table and Lizzie pretends to drink shots with him but instead throw them behind her and consequently on her sister’s face. Several hours go by and when the group returns home Martin is hammered and has to have Luke drag him in to the living room. Lizzie goes to find a pen while Prudence storms out. Martin tries to sweet talk Lizzie but and she tries to take one for the team by insisting he sign the documents before getting frisky. Just as he’s about to sign he passes out.

    The next morning Luke is frustrated that she wasn’t able to get the signature but she informs them that Martin is slowly moving on just as he enters the room and smacks her behind. Prudence and Luke sit stunned and Lizzie audibly gags with disgust. She explains to them that she was only trying to get him to sign the documents and instead may have lead him on too far. Luke agrees that it might just work and Prudence begs her to keep it up. Lizzie reluctantly agrees and when Martin returns to the kitchen and asks for details about their evening before Lizzie lies confirming they slept with each other. Martin tries to make Prudence jealous and Lizzie tells him she can’t be with again until he signs the paperwork. He agrees and signs the documents trying to rub it in Prudence’s face. Luke gets defensive but just as Martin signs the last paper Lizzie drops the bomb on him that she’s a lesbian and not really interested in him at all. Martin completely missing the point is too excited that he “slept with a lesbian” and declares he has to call to tell his friends back home and leaves the room.

    Lizzie trails after him and as he makes plans to move in and stay with her. He tells her he doesn’t want to have any kids and she quickly hatches a plan to get him to leave for good. She insists that he got her knocked up when they “slept together” and goes to take a pregnancy test that she knows will turn positive since she was already pregnant. Prudence and Luke argue over the fact that she admitted to have only married Martin after 3 days to get out of a bad situation. Luke questions if she did the same thing to him since they were married after only 5 days. She swears and promises she really loves him and isn’t using him to stay in the country but Luke doesn’t believe her and storms out. When Lizzie returns announcing to Martin she’s pregnant she finds him gone without a trace. Prudence rushes into the room declaring Luke has left her and will not forgive her. While she hugs and cries in Lizzie’s arms the two women stand miserable now that Prudence went from 2 husbands to 0 overnight.

    Last week there were 2 wives and this week it’s 2 husbands. What’s next 2 babies? As this ridiculous show continues the plot lines are becoming more convoluted as they grasp for straws trying to move the story along. Hopefully there will be a saving grace to bring more realistic voice to the cartoonish series.

      © Site Graphics by Randy Jennings by http://www.artfreelancer.com/ 2009

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