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Sif returns, Skye shakes, viewers yawn.
Review by Brandon Wolfe
Pity poor Jaimie Alexander. As one of the few members of the Marvel Cinematic Universe low enough on the totem pole to be accessible for TV, she keeps getting roped back into Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. as Lady Sif returns this week for her second appearance on the series. It’s not that Alexander isn’t welcome on the show, but she very clearly is being utilized not because Sif makes perfect sense as a regular popover to Coulson’s tiny, earthbound corner of the universe, but because she’s a much easier “get” than a Robert Downey Jr. or a Scarlett Johansson, whose characters would make infinitely more sense crossing paths on a frequent basis with S.H.I.E.L.D. I guess you work with what you have.
Anyway, Sif wanders out of the ocean one night in Portugal with no memory of who she is (because amnesia is a device used only by the finest of shows). It isn’t long before her superhuman exploits land on Team Coulson’s radar and the group is dispatched to intercept her. It seems that Sif was injured when battling a mysterious warrior, who turns out to be Kree (one that has helpfully disguised himself as a regular human to save this penny-pinching show a couple of bucks). The Kree has come to Earth because it has not gone unnoticed in the cosmos that recent Terragenesis activity has occurred on our planet for the first time in centuries, back when the Kree used the process to convert Earth’s inhabitants into warriors. Sif was dispatched by Odin (which I find myself genuinely wondering if the writers even remember is supposed to be Loki) to look into the Kree’s arrival. This all, understandably, makes Skye very nervous, which makes everything around her very shaky.
Credit to Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. for going all-in on this Inhumans business. Generally the show has been content to leech off of whatever Marvel film happens to be in or near theaters like a good little parasite, but considering how far out the Inhumans film still is from release (to put it into perspective, there will be a whopping THREE Avengers films released between now and the time it arrives), that the show is playing the long game on this is not only admirable, but makes the show feel like a useful cog in the Marvel machine for the first time. The concern, however, is that because Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., it can pretty much make anything seem dull, and constructing the burgeoning Inhumans mythology around a weepy-faced nonentity like Skye dilutes whatever impact any of this is expected to have. Skye involuntarily causing earthquakes and then looking super sad about it immediately extinguishes whatever spark this development could ignite.
The episode ends with Sif offering to remove Skye and her dangerously unstable abilities from Earth, escorting her back to Asgard to be among those more qualified to deal with her. This is a completely reasonable plan of action, and the best possible solution for all parties involved (and I’m not just saying that because bye bye Skye), so of course Coulson rejects it. He argues that Skye is better off being around loved ones, whom she could accidently crush with a pillar if she gets emotional (which is always). The show clearly intends for this to be a touching development, bolstering the family vibe that Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. has worked up a sweat insisting exists among its core group, but it comes across as yet more evidence that Coulson is a boob who shouldn’t be the shift leader at an El Pollo Loco, much less heading up a branch of an intelligence agency. Skye is a danger to herself and those around her. How much soft-bellied consternation do you suppose a hard-liner like Nick Fury would have experienced over such a clear-cut decision?
In other character news, Bobbi and Mack are both secretly up to something (though, as their clandestine conversation is quick to spell out, whatever it is definitely isn’t Hydra), and Hunter finds himself on the business end of a sleeper hold when he catches wind of it. Sowing seeds of discontent among the group from those within it operating under a hidden agenda feels a great deal like Ward redux (remember Ward? I kind of do), but the fact of the matter is that Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. has way too many characters on the roster right now and it could use a good pruning, which seems a likely outcome from this revelation. And though none of the characters are interesting, if someone does have to go, Adrianne Palicki and her scowl wouldn’t be my first choice. I don’t want to overstate what Palicki brings to the table (she’s basically a .2 in a sea of zeroes), but at least she has a smidgen of personality, which sets her apart from the likes of Agent May, a department store mannequin granted sentience (and not in the fun, Hollywood Montrose way).
This is a bell that I can’t stop ringing when it comes to this show, but I wish any aspect of it felt alive in the way the Marvel films do. Every character, every performance, every last line of dialogue remains so flat and hackneyed that it’s aggravating. Every time I see that Joss Whedon credit at the beginning and the Mutant Enemy logo at the end, the episode sandwiched in between them feels like a cruel joke to anyone who remembers when those things bookended Buffy, Angel and Firefly, shows bursting with wit, vibrant characters and sparkling dialogue and humor. I almost wish his nominal credentials could be scrubbed from a series that is as far away as possible from what is considered part and parcel of a Joss Whedon series. Obviously Whedon has his hands full with the side of the Marvel universe that has all the desirable traits this show completely lacks, which has the curious effect of making everything seem backwards. Aren’t TV shows supposed to be better than big blockbuster movies?
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