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Loot Crate Review: March 2015

How does March 2015's box rate? Click below to find out!

Story by Matt Cummings

As a recent subscriber to Loot Crate - the monthly geek subscription box service - I find myself to be a little late to the party. It's not that I wasn't unimpressed with my first Crate in February, but perhaps the trinkets just weren't what I was expecting. But that was last month, and yesterday my March Crate arrived a little dinged up, so I opened it with renewed vigor. And while I was impressed with its contents, I do have lingering questions.

First, let's be clear: I am not expecting to open the box to find a Marvel Legends figure like I did when I purchased Marvel Unlimited for my tablet, and I do recognize that many of the items can be flipped on eBay, thus recouping most if not all of my money. Second, for those who don't know, Loot Crate is a monthly subscription box containing hand-picked, cool geeky stuff wrapped around a theme. A $20 subscription gets 6-8 products which are guaranteed to be worth more than $30. Now that we've gotten past those stipulations, let's look at the contents.

Same nondescript packaging. This could be a nerd's delight or sex toy of the month. Perhaps it's both?


Upon cracking the case, we find a keyboard and a terrific James Bond-themed shirt. Notice his reaction to seeing his favorite drink stirred, not shaken.

Lots of interesting stuff in here. Where should I start?
One of the most interesting items in the collection is this watch, which looks like a fake, until you press the top and it lights up with the time. Very stealthy, very cool.

Next up is two journals, which you can use to stalk your favorite girlfriend who actually doesn't want to be your girlfriend because you're wearing a black watch with no time on it. Weirdo.

I used to love MadLibs as a kid, and seeing this old friend again made me want to sit down with a pencil and give it a whirl. Very cool, even though I could have picked it up from a bookstore for about $4.

Another impressive piece to the Crate is this Paracord Survival Barcelet. According to the document, it can be used for “a multitude of things that possibly save a life or get you out of a crazy situation”. While I neither hike nor plan to survive anything apocalyptic, I found this to be an exceptional addition to the Crate.

Next up is the Loot Crate Magazine #20, which features articles including the Mega Crate, which goes to one lucky subscriber. The value of that baby is $2,400, which I expect to find at my front door soon. Do you hear me, Loot Crate?! Seriously, the articles are really good and it compliments the stash nicely.

As you may have heard, I am a big fan of Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., so this replica lanyard from EFX Collectibles will find a place of honor inside my collectibles room. What you see here is not the actual badge: the real fun is inside. In keeping with theme, I'll keep its real identity a secret, but trust me when I say it's 100% top shelf.

Last up is Loot Crate pin and am IDW Comics Exclusive issue of Orphan Black. I'll probably send this one to eBay, along with a couple of other items, but that doesn't mean they're not worthwhile.

Never one to be lame, Loot Crate has decorated the box interior with a kayboard, a selection of letters which have been highlighted, and a QR code that once you unscramble the letters takes you to a funny Bond-esque video with a shadowy eye=patched figure. You get no new orders here, but it would have been cool to see them offer an adventure with the Crate.

In the end, March 2015's Loot Crate is filled with terrific exclusives, many of which will either bring your family tons of fun, or which could be flipped on eBay to offset the small cost of the subscription. This package was a homerun in almost every sense, but we'll see if the inconsistent nature of each month will return in April. Until then, if you see a strange man at our next screening taking notes in the bushes, see if he has any Furious 7 passes with him...

Discuss this review with fellow SJF fans on Facebook. On Twitter, follow us at @SandwichJohnFilms, and follow author Matt Cummings at @mfc90125.

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