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MACHETE KILLS Review. Strikes Again

MACHETE KILLS Review
By: Rama

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MACHETE strikes again with MACHETE KILLS! Director Robert Rodriguez truly knows how to entertain those of us who just want to come to theaters to see a no brainer R-rated over the top outrageous actioner and that is what MACHETE KILLS is, a movie that’s as crazy fun as its predecessor. Danny Trejo is back as the title character, chopping villains’ heads left and right, uncompromising, no mercy and legendary. Robert Rodriguez has established himself as the king of Mexploitation and we don’t mind, in fact, we wouldn’t mind more of what Rodriguez can offer the world. This weekend, you can either spend your money on some boring movie, or let MACHETE rock your world!


“Machete Kills” is an action-packed thrill ride about the adventures of legendary secret agent Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo). In his latest mission, Machete is recruited by the U.S. President (Carlos Estevez) to stop a crazed global terrorist (Mel Gibson) from starting a nuclear war. With a bounty on his head, Machete faces death at every turn from an all-star cast of deadly assassins. Breaking all the rules, visionary director Robert Rodriguez leads this star-studded ensemble on one of the wildest adventures to save the world ever captured on film!


In this sequel, Danny Trejo a.k.a Machete finds himself reluctantly working for U.S. president Rathcock, played by Charlie Sheen/Carlos Estevez who I think if he ever becomes an actual U.S. President, would get this country in total jeopardy, but enough about Estevez who’s always ‘winning’! The whole show is Danny Trejo, the man who’s a walking badass and he doesn’t even have to do much to prove it. Trejo was born for this role, hell he doesn’t even have to act, he is Machete, just like Paul Hogan is Crocodile Dundee, you can’t picture anybody else but Trejo as Machete. But this sequel has made him evolve from a man with nothing to lose into some kind of mexican James Bond who doesn’t tweet.


Just like any sequel, things would have to go bigger in scoot and in this case, it means throwing a bunch of famous stars, familiar names in, so this time around, you have Oscar winners like Cuba Gooding Jr. and Mel Gibson and Oscar nominees like Demian Bichir. Machete’s mission has been made not easy by those guys’ presence. All the while I was watching this movie, I couldn’t help but think that Machete probably just wants to go home to his cold beer and simple life, so why does he care at all if America gets blown up? MACHETE doesn’t care, or does he?!


But he keeps encountering all those colorful murderous characters, he’s probably thinkin’ “O, no, not another one of sh*theads again!” Although I gotta admit, seeing Mel Gibson playing your typical Bond-esque villain who wants to blow up the world is nothing short of comical and hilarious. Cuba on the other hand is part of this one big chameleon bounty hunter character who shape shifts, he changes his forms, and one of those forms is Lady Gaga, one of today’s big pop stars making her feature acting debut and what a mark she makes indeed, and it’s got nothing to do with whether or not you like her music.

I had a blast watching MACHETE KILLS but if there’s one complaint I have is that the transition from Demian Bichir’s villainous character and his story to Mel Gibson’s villainous character and his story is a bit slow and poorly structured, though again, I understand what Rodriguez was gunning for, to show us whether or not Machete can be vulnerable, forced to make a decision that he doesn’t like, and be regretful and compassionate, in other words, soft.

It took Mel Gibson’s character to bring Machete to his usual state, it took a man of absolute evil to jumpstart Machete who eats absolute evil men for breakfast.

With Mel Gibson and Charlie Sheen, o excuse me, Carlos Estevez in the mix, you wonder if Robert Rodriguez has some unspoken fascination with Hollywood bad boys, but with Sofia Vergara, Michelle Rodriguez, Amber Heard, Lady Gaga, and the now adult and sexy Alexa Vega in the mix, you wonder if Rodriguez has turned into some kind of hispanic version of Michael Bay who as we know just loves featuring hot women wearing optional clothing for no reason at all. But folks, let’s not forget that MACHETE KILLS is not a movie to be analyzed too seriously and if you’re figuring out all kinds of things along the way while watching this particular movie or even after it’s done, then you’re thinking way too hard, amigo.

MACHETE KILLS, just like its predecessor, relies heavily on its campy far-fetched humor, mindless low budget special effects, explosive action sequences, and the ladies, especially Sofia Vergara, even have double D firepower, how do you wrap your head around that?! You don’t! You just take it all in, this Rodriguez-hijacked ride the moon, you just let it do its thing. Let MACHETE kills, that’s what he does. He’ll even do it in space if he has to.

May the gods of cinema have mercy on me, I’m a huge fan of MACHETE franchise, huge fan of MACHETE KILLS and hell yeah I’m down for another one, if Trejo and Rodriguez are up for it.

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