The Cottage DVD Review
By: MattInRC
Poor Matt sometimes has to review some really bad movies. But you never know when you'll find a diamond in the ruff. But this movie wasn't one of them.
The Cottage reminds one of the advice dispensed by IT professionals to their users in an effort to keep them from navigating to problematic websites: just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Even though one may know how to use a camera, or boasts they can write a script, doesn't necessarily make them a director or a screen writer. And while it boldly claims it is 'based on a harrowing true story,' one would have a hard time selling The Cottage as anything more than a purposely weird, poorly-made production starring an actor whose standing in Hollywood has truly lost its luster.
When Michael (Victor Browne) and Chloe Carpenter (Kristen Dalton) rent their guest home to the shy novelist Robert Mars (David Arquette, Scream), they have no idea of his alter-ego, a murderous manipulator who traps young girls into following him like a harem to carry out his deadly wishes without question. Having unknowingly given him access to their home by renting to him, Robert soon outstays his welcome by wooing their oldest daughter Rose into his following. Unable to protect themselves, Michael and Chloe find their situation growing more desperate behind Robert's cold and calculating schemes.
At around 88 minutes, there's so little time to get to know our characters or even sympathize with their situation before the credits roll that one wonders how this production ever got funded. From our actors who feel second-rate, to the skimpy production value which looks like a made-for-television movie, we're even left wondering whether the 'based on a harrowing true story' moniker on the cover is accurate. Director Chris Jaymes and Writer Nick Antosca make their respective film debuts by presenting a mostly flat work that's uninspiring to say the least. Both come from television and it shows. Boasting a weirdness factor that's designed to protect the flimsy story, The Cottage is sadly nothing more than sub-par network television fodder, perpetually doomed to the bottom of the bargain bin of your local discount store, but worth so little that even the bargain DVD's snub their noses at it. Proceed at your own risk with this one, as it's definitely not recommended.
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